As I was intrigued about my knowledge or lack thereof about nutrition, I started to focus on re-educating myself regarding the foods I have known so intimately throughout my life. I began with research into a common ingredient - high fructose corn syrup (HFCS). This food additive was first brought to my attention by my former counselor. She challenged me to give up this ingredient early on in my process of regaining my life and I shrugged it off. I figured at this point, why not give it a read and see what is so bad about it. So like everything else, I googled "dangers of high fructose corn syrup". What I found was controversial, debated, and disturbing; HFCS is being attributed to obesity, food addiction, liver damage, diabetes, mercury poisoning, and a host of other issues. As I read site after site, I began to google more combinations to see what else I could learn.
When I finished gorging on information three things stuck with me: 1) this additive was put in feed for livestock to make them fatter; 2) since it has been a part of the American diet, we have gained weight and have fought the weight gain with little success; and 3) its safety is the subject of hot debate. Regarding number 3, someone made this comment to me, "why is it in other countries, nothing can be given to the public without knowing for certain that it is safe. Yet we are allowing this substance to be widely used with such debate and uncertainty." If you doubt the validity of this claim, I reference the use of asbestos, lead, mercury, tobacco, Fen-phen, and ephedra, just to name a few items that prove this statement. I do not know if it is just a problem in this country though.
As I continued my research into HFCS, I found that this is in the vast majority of products that we eat. I began to become keenly aware of my food and its ingredients. I began to take the time to read labels and know what I was putting into my body. I am not going to claim to be a food or nutrition guru, people who go in those professions and have far more training and knowledge than I, but I solidly believe that HFCS is a major concern for our country and especially those who are overweight. Anyone ever hear a story where someone eliminates regular soft drinks and they drop weight? Yes, the big ingredient is high fructose corn syrup. Some will say, well its about the empty calories. I partially agree. However, in lab studies animals were given sugar water and water with HFCS. The end result, those with HFCS gained weight and became overweight, those with sugar water did not.
This does not mean that we can eat sugar with reckless abandon, but it does implicate that HFCS changes us on a chemical level and may make us more susceptible to gain weight. How many of us have talked about cutting calories, but we are frustrated that the weight will not come off? I now I believe I know why. I almost forgot to mention, fast food has HFCS as a major ingredient. Could this be why it is addictive and linked to obesity? I think I the information on HFCS answers these questions as well.
As I continued to learn and develop concepts of what foods I should choose to put in my mouth, I began to watch "Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution." This show really was focused on healthy eating and helping people rediscover proper nutrition in the schools, in their homes, and in their personal lives. Jamie's main premise was to eliminate products that had ingredients people were unfamiliar with. In regards to reading labels of foods people should buy, he would say, "if an ingredient sounds like it could be in a science experiment, stay away from it." I began to follow this premise along with the idea that I needed to stay away from processed foods or ready made foods when possible. He claims that we need to return to a more simplistic way of eating. Jamie stressed that we need to stop poisoning ourselves with processed, unhealthy options, and that we can't afford to cut our lives short just because our current life is hectic, we are stressed, or we don't have time for healthy options. As his show continued to unfold, my thoughts started to come together. Maybe we, as a country, aren't getting fat because of larger portions, inactivity, or the types of food we are eating. Maybe we are getting fat because the additives in our food are causing us to react and crave in a way that our bodies are not meant to tolerate? If these additives are causing us to gain weight and making us want to eat when we are full, if they are causing us to feel less satiated, which in turn causes us eat more, gain weight, which results in us not wanting to be more active then we are dealing with more than just calories. I decided to eliminate HFCS, trans-fats, and focus on a healthier lifestyle.
This brings me back my great friend, Kris. I wrote in an earlier post about her support and how she would bring healthy foods into work so we can have healthy options instead of the regular processed food that was available. Her support and knowledge became critical as I began to look at nutrition differently. As I shared my thoughts, she validated it with her knowledge. I began to ask why she ate organic foods and picked foods from a natural food store in the area. We had a great conversation and she talked to me about the knowledge of another friend. His name is Doug Owens.
At this point, I had known Doug for over a year as he and Kris had been and are currently dating. Doug is a very unassuming person. He does not brag and is a very low key individual, but his knowledge regarding nutrition and fitness, in my opinion, is rivaled by no one else I have ever talked to in my life. Doug is a world class trainer. He owns Doug Owens Personal Fitness and Boxing (http://www.dougowenspersonalfitness.com/index.html) and has trained Jody Shelly (NHL), Brady Quinn (NFL), James "Buster" Douglass (World Champion in Boxing), and many others from cancer patients to other world class athletes. I decided that it was time for me to begin the exercise portion of my life. After a few text messages, I had enlisted his help into my personal fitness. A new part of my journey would begin as I scheduled time to work with him once a week on my health and wellness. I was just about to turn the corner in my fight. I had a new level of accountability and I knew that I had my unhealthiness on the run. I said to myself, don't give up. Don't ever give up.
Some links on HFCS
http://www.180degreehealth.com/high-fructose-corn-syrup.html
http://www.green-metroplex.com/Assorted/Warnings/regarding/Corn_syrup/Use.html
Weekly Update: I am excited to report that as of Saturday, June 19, I weighed in at 381.2. This is a 2.8 lb elimination from last week and gets me to another personal goal of getting to the 50 lbs eliminated mark. Overall, I have eliminated 51 lbs and I am no where near the end. It is bittersweet as I have never lost this much weight before, but I realize that I still have so far to go. The only thing that I can do is stay focused on the next step and stay committed. My next goal is to get under the 370 lb marker. Till next week, I wish you all the best.
Sunday, June 20, 2010
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Might As Well Face It Your Addicted to Food...
As you read the words of this title I hope you hear the 1980's mega hit from Robert Palmer, "Addicted to Love"..."might as well face it your addicted to food, huh!"
Please enjoy reading my parody lyrics to this once famous song:
Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your mind is not your own
Your body sweats, your stomach aches
Another burger is what it takes
You can't sleep, cuz you can eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Another bite is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff,
oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're
Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to food
You see the signs, and then you read
A couple bucks is all you need
Your mouth waters and then you spy
Another item and a large fry
You can't be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there's some left for you
Eat it tomorrow, is what I'll do
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff,
oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're
Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to food
And now this week's entry:
As I watched the many reality shows on TV that deal with the addictions that people face, I couldn't help but see a commonality with what I was fighting in my own life. The pain, stress, need, desire, and preoccupation that those people felt and battled were eerily similar to the emotions and desires of myself towards food. Finally, the realization hit home as I was faced with my counselor telling me that I was dealing with an addiction to food. My first reaction was one of relief, I can finally put a name on this problem and really start to deal with it. My second reaction, which I verbalized, was loaded with sarcasm "Seriously?" I then said, "Addiction is real, it is ugly, it can kill, and it is crippling. Everyone is claiming addiction these days from sex to food to the use of the internet; how can this be an addiction." I have to hand it to my counselor, who patiently pointed out that my misuse of food was doing everything that I had pointed out in that statement. My problem was real, it was ugly, it was killing me and it was crippling me in the process. I hate being wrong, but I was and my own words condemned me. I broke mentally and spiritually at that moment. The realization that I was trapped in an addiction became so monstrous that I literally broke. I didn't cry, but I could feel my will change, my heart sink, and my self-confidence die. I was in way over my head and didn't see any way out. As I sat in the chair across from my counselor, my head hung low and I asked in a low soft voice, "What now?"
In reality, I wasn't just asking that question to my therapist. I was asking it to God, myself, and my counselor. Her response was measured, "I have a book for you." The book was Addiction and Grace by Gerald May. She said she wanted me to read it and tell her what I thought about it. I remember leaving there with an internal fight taking place in my head. It centered around the overuse of the term addiction to explain so many behaviors. I could not come to terms with this being a disease or something I was genetically engineered to fight; something was not sitting right with me. Then I realized, I needed to allow myself to believe that addiction had levels of severity. Most of you just went, "DUH", I know you did, I heard it. After watching so many shows about drug addiction it skewed my thinking that all addictions had to look the same in severity. We all know and understand that addiction ranges from caffeine to drugs. I needed to find a niche where my addiction fit within that range.
As I began to read the book, Addiction and Grace, my realization grew that the same common principles that foster addiction are present in my fight to gain independence from food. I realized that just because you are dealing with an addiction, it does not provide you with a built in excuse or cop out if you fail. In my opinion, addiction constitutes an unhealthy preoccupation, dependence, or obsession about something. I am not a professional counselor and I am sure there are some holes in this definition, but I am explaining what it means to me. In order to conquer my dependence on food, I thought I needed more visits to the doctor. However, I was soon to learn that would not be the case.
Through reading this book, I began to realize that hope was growing stronger within me. As I read page 18, I realized that I would not and will not be a slave to my misuse of food any longer. I would like to share one excerpt and a quote that focuses on the spiritual side of hope. The context is centered on how the human spirit can break free and deal with the attachment to addiction:
"We are dependent upon grace for liberation from our addictions, but those very addictions impair our receptivity to grace. The message may not sound like good news. Yet God creates and cares for us in such a way that our addictions can never completely vanquish our freedom. Addiction may oppress our desire, erode our wills, confound our motivations, and contaminate our judgment, but its bondage is never absolute. Because of God's continuing love, the human spirit can never be completely obliterated. No matter how oppressed we are, by other people and circumstances or by our own internal addictions, some small capacity for choice remains unvanquished."
The word "choice" caused my heart to race because I had, up until now, believed that once addiction grabs hold of you, you are powerless. I couldn't and can't accept this. I think that as people, we are better and stronger than we believe. I have witnessed it frequently in my 37 years on this planet- the human spirit is strong. Through God you are strong, I am strong, we are strong - its true! "The bare edge of freedom is insured and preserved inside us by God, and no matter what forces oppress us from without or within, it is indestructible." (May, pg. 18) This is where I connected to one of my quotes that I mentioned in a previous post. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippines 4:13) The light bulb went on and the gears in my brain started working. (Insert ears smoking joke here.)
Addiction, in my opinion, is slavery. Slavery to a substance, feeling, or whatever the case may be; I am not saying that I lock, stock and barrel believe in all the claims of addiction, but true addiction is slavery. Time to break the bonds! It was in this moment that I began to see a greater value in the 7 points or pillars that I had written on my marker board in December. I started to think that maybe I didn't know as much as I thought about nutrition and exercise. I began to research things I was hearing about, such as high fructose corn syrup and trans-fats. My readings lead me to understand on a greater level, why I was craving food. Why I was feeling trapped and addicted. Nutrition holds a bigger stake in this fight than I had ever dreamed. It was more than just calorie burn, it was more than just what companies said was healthy and beneficial for me. It was a realization that holds tremendous power and a huge key to my success. It lead me to reach out to a powerful friend, who would be a critical part in my success. It made me realize that I was finding a key to the castle and that now was not the time to quit. I latched on to those familiar words, don't give up. Don't ever give up.
Weekly Update: Sorry for the two week delay in posts, it has been exceptionally busy at work and I haven't had the time to sit down and blog. Thank you to everyone who checked on me and made sure I was still fighting! Your support and concern is very much appreciated.
As of last week, June 5, 2010, I weighed in at 385.6, this is a 4.6 lb elimination. This week, I weighed in at 384.0 lbs. This 1.6 lb elimination brings my over all number to 48.2 lbs eliminated and I feel amazing. Thanks again for all the positive support. Have a great week!
Congratulations to the Lindsey and Brent Wise on the birth of their daughter McKinley Marie Wise!
Please enjoy reading my parody lyrics to this once famous song:
Your lights are on, but you're not home
Your mind is not your own
Your body sweats, your stomach aches
Another burger is what it takes
You can't sleep, cuz you can eat
There's no doubt, you're in deep
Your throat is tight, you can't breathe
Another bite is all you need
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff,
oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're
Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to food
You see the signs, and then you read
A couple bucks is all you need
Your mouth waters and then you spy
Another item and a large fry
You can't be saved
Oblivion is all you crave
If there's some left for you
Eat it tomorrow, is what I'll do
Whoa, you like to think that you're immune to the stuff,
oh yeah
It's closer to the truth to say you can't get enough, you
know you're
Gonna have to face it, you're addicted to food
And now this week's entry:
As I watched the many reality shows on TV that deal with the addictions that people face, I couldn't help but see a commonality with what I was fighting in my own life. The pain, stress, need, desire, and preoccupation that those people felt and battled were eerily similar to the emotions and desires of myself towards food. Finally, the realization hit home as I was faced with my counselor telling me that I was dealing with an addiction to food. My first reaction was one of relief, I can finally put a name on this problem and really start to deal with it. My second reaction, which I verbalized, was loaded with sarcasm "Seriously?" I then said, "Addiction is real, it is ugly, it can kill, and it is crippling. Everyone is claiming addiction these days from sex to food to the use of the internet; how can this be an addiction." I have to hand it to my counselor, who patiently pointed out that my misuse of food was doing everything that I had pointed out in that statement. My problem was real, it was ugly, it was killing me and it was crippling me in the process. I hate being wrong, but I was and my own words condemned me. I broke mentally and spiritually at that moment. The realization that I was trapped in an addiction became so monstrous that I literally broke. I didn't cry, but I could feel my will change, my heart sink, and my self-confidence die. I was in way over my head and didn't see any way out. As I sat in the chair across from my counselor, my head hung low and I asked in a low soft voice, "What now?"
In reality, I wasn't just asking that question to my therapist. I was asking it to God, myself, and my counselor. Her response was measured, "I have a book for you." The book was Addiction and Grace by Gerald May. She said she wanted me to read it and tell her what I thought about it. I remember leaving there with an internal fight taking place in my head. It centered around the overuse of the term addiction to explain so many behaviors. I could not come to terms with this being a disease or something I was genetically engineered to fight; something was not sitting right with me. Then I realized, I needed to allow myself to believe that addiction had levels of severity. Most of you just went, "DUH", I know you did, I heard it. After watching so many shows about drug addiction it skewed my thinking that all addictions had to look the same in severity. We all know and understand that addiction ranges from caffeine to drugs. I needed to find a niche where my addiction fit within that range.
As I began to read the book, Addiction and Grace, my realization grew that the same common principles that foster addiction are present in my fight to gain independence from food. I realized that just because you are dealing with an addiction, it does not provide you with a built in excuse or cop out if you fail. In my opinion, addiction constitutes an unhealthy preoccupation, dependence, or obsession about something. I am not a professional counselor and I am sure there are some holes in this definition, but I am explaining what it means to me. In order to conquer my dependence on food, I thought I needed more visits to the doctor. However, I was soon to learn that would not be the case.
Through reading this book, I began to realize that hope was growing stronger within me. As I read page 18, I realized that I would not and will not be a slave to my misuse of food any longer. I would like to share one excerpt and a quote that focuses on the spiritual side of hope. The context is centered on how the human spirit can break free and deal with the attachment to addiction:
"We are dependent upon grace for liberation from our addictions, but those very addictions impair our receptivity to grace. The message may not sound like good news. Yet God creates and cares for us in such a way that our addictions can never completely vanquish our freedom. Addiction may oppress our desire, erode our wills, confound our motivations, and contaminate our judgment, but its bondage is never absolute. Because of God's continuing love, the human spirit can never be completely obliterated. No matter how oppressed we are, by other people and circumstances or by our own internal addictions, some small capacity for choice remains unvanquished."
The word "choice" caused my heart to race because I had, up until now, believed that once addiction grabs hold of you, you are powerless. I couldn't and can't accept this. I think that as people, we are better and stronger than we believe. I have witnessed it frequently in my 37 years on this planet- the human spirit is strong. Through God you are strong, I am strong, we are strong - its true! "The bare edge of freedom is insured and preserved inside us by God, and no matter what forces oppress us from without or within, it is indestructible." (May, pg. 18) This is where I connected to one of my quotes that I mentioned in a previous post. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." (Philippines 4:13) The light bulb went on and the gears in my brain started working. (Insert ears smoking joke here.)
Addiction, in my opinion, is slavery. Slavery to a substance, feeling, or whatever the case may be; I am not saying that I lock, stock and barrel believe in all the claims of addiction, but true addiction is slavery. Time to break the bonds! It was in this moment that I began to see a greater value in the 7 points or pillars that I had written on my marker board in December. I started to think that maybe I didn't know as much as I thought about nutrition and exercise. I began to research things I was hearing about, such as high fructose corn syrup and trans-fats. My readings lead me to understand on a greater level, why I was craving food. Why I was feeling trapped and addicted. Nutrition holds a bigger stake in this fight than I had ever dreamed. It was more than just calorie burn, it was more than just what companies said was healthy and beneficial for me. It was a realization that holds tremendous power and a huge key to my success. It lead me to reach out to a powerful friend, who would be a critical part in my success. It made me realize that I was finding a key to the castle and that now was not the time to quit. I latched on to those familiar words, don't give up. Don't ever give up.
Weekly Update: Sorry for the two week delay in posts, it has been exceptionally busy at work and I haven't had the time to sit down and blog. Thank you to everyone who checked on me and made sure I was still fighting! Your support and concern is very much appreciated.
As of last week, June 5, 2010, I weighed in at 385.6, this is a 4.6 lb elimination. This week, I weighed in at 384.0 lbs. This 1.6 lb elimination brings my over all number to 48.2 lbs eliminated and I feel amazing. Thanks again for all the positive support. Have a great week!
Congratulations to the Lindsey and Brent Wise on the birth of their daughter McKinley Marie Wise!
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