The Turning Point

Before I begin my next entry, I wanted to say thank you to so many people who have checked in with me or those close to me to make certain I was OK and still pressing forward.  If you are one of those people, THANK YOU!  I kept wanting to put a new post up, but I was allowing life to engulf me, thus I had to refocus my priority towards my accountability.  However, I have not lost focus on my goals and my program.  I am still pushing forward.  In the words of L.L. Cool J, "Don't call it a comeback.  I've been here for years."  :)

As I started to focus more on nutrition and what was in my food, I began to think about it as fuel for my body.  If I eat better foods, then it should translate into me feeling better, stronger, and having more energy.  I began to wonder what it would be like to truly begin to feel good physically.  I could remember my more athletic self, but I couldn't remember what it was like to feel good.  I couldn't remember what it was like to run and not want to fall down exhausted, or use my muscles and not feel like I was moving a house, go up the stairs without wondering if I would make it to the top.  As I began to steer clear of certain processed foods, I approached the opportunity to work with Doug Owens.  Doug, as I mentioned in the last blog entry, is a world class trainer who has helped people from all walks of life from professional athletes to cancer patients, from the extremely fit to the very obese.  He has the skill to tailor a program for anyone at any stage of fitness to help them build confidence and their body.  His knowledge of the human body, its functions, limits, and nutritional needs is absolutely amazing.  Yet he condenses this knowledge into common terms, integrates it and explains it during workouts.  He has become a great resource and an essential member of the "don't give up" team.

As stated before, I knew Doug personally for about a year before I took him up on the offer to train with him.  I had three hurdles to clear before I would take this plunge.  First, I was concerned about the cost; personal trainers are expensive, but he doesn't focus on bankrupting his clients.  He is more focused on how he can help people and makes himself affordable even though he has the credentials to be much more expensive.  The second hurdle was the reality that I needed to be certain that I would be committed to this endeavor.  This hurdle was cleared when I decided to make this overall change.  The final hurdle was simple fear.  Could I physically do this?  As I gained weight, I viewed myself to be a lot fitter than I was even though I had put on all this weight.  Now, I had to confront another reality of my condition:  I was severely unfit.

In order to give an accurate picture of what Doug had to work with when I started with him, I submit the following information:  Every day I would wake up drive to work, park my car and walk approximately twenty yards to the entry of our school.  I dreaded this walk because if I walked too fast I would get winded covering that distance.  Then I would get to my office, sit for a part of the day, go to meetings, visit classrooms (either sitting or walking in each), then return home and sit on the couch, absolutely drained of all energy with no ability to recuperate.  I literally could not lift another finger to do anything.  I was completely gassed at the end of a day.  The sadder part, it would be worse on days that I had to stay late for sports or evening events.  I recall the energy it took to get up from the couch and walk to the kitchen, my computer room, or my bedroom.  I had no energy and was being suffocated by my weight.  In the end, breathing was starting to become a difficult task.  This is what Doug had to work with, a man who had heart, but could barely function physically.

On top of all the physical difficulties and limitations, I hated to work out.  During the years that I coached football, I had tried a variety of programs and workouts to get fit, but none of the typical "go into the gym and walk on the treadmill or lift weights" programs even remotely interested me.  When it comes down to it, I believe that you have to enjoy the activity that you chose to undertake in order to stay or get fit.  I never liked those traditional scenarios.  I did some things on the non-traditional side of activity; Tae Bo workouts were ordered at one point and that didn't make me feel anything but ridiculous.  If those things work for you, more power to you; but standing in front of the TV, kicking and punching the air while praying that no one would see my Hong Kong Phoey routine wasn't doing it for me.  I tried to take up running or walking, but running absolutely wrecked me; walking was OK, but it didn't quite hit the spot.  What felt right to me was competition, physical action, and sport as a package deal.  This is right in Doug's wheel house.

I remember the uncertainty, anxiousness, excitement, and doubt as I drove to my first workout.  I was concerned about being able to do things well enough to matter.  I was anxious and worried that I would injure myself.  I was excited about a new beginning.  I was doubting whether or not I would actually do this long term and pull off this whole program I had designed.  After all, this is where the rubber meets the road and the real physical work begins.  As these and many other thoughts rolled through my head over and over, I turned to my iPod for inspiration.  After getting a little pumped from hearing The Notorious BIG's Hypnotize, I heard a song that has inspired me before - Lose Yourself, by Eminem.  The lyrics were perfect, the beat was energizing me, and I focused on a vision of what all of this will produce when I become healthy and fit.  I temporarily set aside my doubts and pulled into Doug Owen's Personal Fitness and Boxing.  A place that would soon become a safe haven for me.  A place that I would consistently use to refocus and stay positive in my fight to regain my life.  A place where Doug and I would have conversations and do the work to change my life.  It is a place where I would have to push myself and test my resolve to my mantra:  Don't give up.  Don't ever give up.

Weekly Update:  Well it has been too long since my last weekly update, however I have been on the roller coaster all summer with birthday parties, travel, vacation and a lack of routine that I thought would be a benefit.  However, I found it to be exceptionally difficult to stay focused and maintain my progress.  I am happy to report that I have weighed in at 379.8 lbs this week.  This is an overall loss of 52.4 lbs and I am closing in on my next goal of eclipsing the 375 lb mark.  I am so thankful for all the encouraging messages, texts, and phone calls.  Thanks and I'm back on the weekly blog schedule.

On a final note, I have received many comments about having trouble leaving comments because of the log in requirements of blogspot.  I have now removed that restriction from this blog.  Have a great week.