***As I explain my plan, I want to preface everything by saying that I am not an expert, but I am being guided by experts. However, this is what I believe I need to do in order to produce a real change in my life.***
Have you ever come across the person who could stop addictions, habits, or living trends cold turkey? They have no use or need of support systems or programs. These "cold turkeys" do one thing, in the words of Droopy Dog, "they make me mad". Believe it or not, I actually come from a line of these cold turkeys. My grandfather successfully quit alcohol and smoking; and my parents quit smoking; not without some struggle, but they overcame their addictions to find greener pastures. I always hoped I could be one of these cold turkeys when it came to my food issues. However, being a cold turkey was not to be a part of my path in life.
I do believe that as a part of this life we are meant to struggle and through that struggle we become stronger. Just like the old adage, "that which does not kill me, can only make me stronger." For the first time, I am seeing my struggle as an opportunity to become a better person, a better father, a better husband, a better friend, and better role model. I am fighting this battle that I may live a higher quality of life, but I find it interesting that I am finding more reasons every day as I continue my fight. As promised here is the plan, and my path to its discovery. This plan is designed with one purpose- to bring about real change in my life.
In December, 2009, as I sat at my computer, I was playing an online game called Evony. I remember waiting on my troops to attack an opponent and I began to think about the process I used to coordinate this attack. I would love to tell you that I designed this plan through some amazing opportunity, through some life changing experience, or that I was on a beach at sunrise and God spoke to me, but its not that fantastic or romantic. It happened in the trenches of my pathetic attempts to maintain childhood. LOL! My train of thought on this does not necessarily follow normal standard trains, as I like to say, "follow the crazy, if you can." As, I was waiting for my attack to hit, I began to think about the amount of coordination and different types of fighting units needed to win a battle in this game. Then, I began to think about how difficult it was to synchronize all these units, which led to me wondering why it was so difficult to synchronize the clocks in my house. Then, I thought; I really should be doing some projects around the house, instead of wasting time at the computer (my wife could not agree more). I have to shovel the driveway at least. Also, if I shovel, that would be great exercise, but it could give me a heart attack too. I bet I could just exercise by going for a walk. No, its too cold. I would have to get dressed in layers just to go for a walk, and I probably couldn't walk for very long. Its just not worth the hassle. I need to get in shape, but its so hard. ("That's what she said." beat you to it!) I don't need to just get into shape, I need to change how I live. How do I change habits that have been established over 37 years? BINGO!!! I finally thought something worth thinking. It is my million dollar question. How do I change??? I kept asking myself that question over and over. I stood up and began to sketch the areas of life that I have to address in order to produce a real change in my quality of life and develop healthy habits. This is what I wrote on the board.
In no particular order:
1. Infrastructure: I need to create an infrastructure of support. I need people to support me, to know what I am doing, and stay with me as I struggle in this fight.
2. Behavioral: I need to address my behavior. I need someone to help me identify the triggers, patterns, and factors involved in my past failures and current behavior.
3. Mental: I need to adjust my mindset. Overall, I have a negative outlook on food and my relationship with it. I need questions answered: Why do I do this? What I am I trying to get from food? Why I am I causing my own self destruction?
4. Physical: I need to address the physical aspects of fitness. I need to reexamine what I know about fitness and exercise. I need someone who can push me and keep me going, when I can only think of quitting.
5. Nutritional: I need to address my nutrition levels. The food I was putting in my mouth was not giving me energy, it was sapping the little energy that I had; and it held some strange addictive powers. I kept wanting more and more of the bad stuff and the healthy options always tasted, well unappetizing.
6. Medical: I need to maintain a level of medical supervision and safety. Too often, I have engaged in fad diets, supplements, and dangerous practices to drop weight, and I needed someone to steer me in a healthy direction. This also would function as a support when I started to plateau; it can reveal the unseen benefits of what I was doing and buoy my efforts in those tough phases.
7. Spiritual: I needed to address my spiritual side. If I did not lean on the power of God to produce real change, I was ultimately alone and potentially powerless. I decided that part of my fight had to be done in prayer.
After I was done, my Evony attack landed and victory was claimed, but I really just stared at the marker board. I thought about all the programs I had utilized in my past. I spent time thinking about what worked, what was good, what was flawed, and how I responded to each aspect. I developed a strong feeling that if I was meant to change my behavior, my thought process, and my health, that this was my only hope. That feeling began to turn to confidence and a sneaky feeling that I had stumbled upon something that had never been in my past programs. It was the beginnings of a program designed for me, not just part of me (physical, nutritional, or behavioral), but for all of me.
I believe that changing me is the hardest task I have to accomplish. It is the scary skeleton in my closet. I could change jobs, houses, cities, become a father three times, and experience life, but I was afraid to change myself. However, the habits that had become so comforting, safe, and at times defined me, were also slowly choking the life out of me. If I changed, I was challenged with the thought of losing a group of adjectives that had become synonymous with who I was...big, fat, chunky, chubby, thick, fluffy, pleasantly plump, or even morbidly obese. Unfortunately, I have attributed a lot, if not all, of who I am to these labels. However, I must, can and will embrace this change. I will move toward a new life with fear, anticipation, anxiety, and hope that I can be defined without those labels. This is a new challenge with a tough battle, but I believe that those seven points I have gathered will lead me to victory. I firmly believe that all of us have the ability to overcome great obstacles and whatever challenge you may face in your life, you can beat it as well. Just remember, don't let it get the best of you, fight with all that you have, and don't give up, don't ever give up.
Have a great week!
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